I haven’t felt like I’ve had much to say lately. But I went to a conference this past weekend and God revealed a few things to me indirectly as a result.

For a while now, actually years, I have been praying for a particular person in my life to be less critical.    But God somehow revealed to me that my desire for that characteristic to change was selfish. I wanted that prayer answered because life would be easier for me.  I realized that it wasn’t out of love for the person.  I wasn’t really wanting them to experience God in an awesome way or to be free of that negativity.  It was for my gain. 

Prayers for people should be motivated by love for that person and love for God.  It should burden me that this person daily lives in this kind of spirit because they are unable to experience God with it.  If I loved them, I would want the best for them, not because it is the best for me.  So my prayer has changed that God would help me to love this person, as they are, faults and all.  That is my first prayer.  Once my heart has changed there some, I feel I can pray for them unselfishly to experience God and live freely with Him.

One question that has come as a result of all that is “Am I in love with God?”.  If I loved Him, that should drive my life and make me want those around me to experience that love relationship.  I feel like most of the time I serve Him but it is for the “mission” and I forget that that mission is a result of how much He loves me and wants a personal relationship with me.  It is much easier for me to do things for Him than it is for me to sit down and spend time with Him.  In all honesty, I am horrible at that.  This weekend has been better for that but I need more of it.  I need to pray for myself that I will love Him and love spending time with Him more.  Please pray for this if you will.