I haven’t felt like I’ve had much to say lately. But I went to a conference this past weekend and God revealed a few things to me indirectly as a result.

For a while now, actually years, I have been praying for a particular person in my life to be less critical.    But God somehow revealed to me that my desire for that characteristic to change was selfish. I wanted that prayer answered because life would be easier for me.  I realized that it wasn’t out of love for the person.  I wasn’t really wanting them to experience God in an awesome way or to be free of that negativity.  It was for my gain. 

Prayers for people should be motivated by love for that person and love for God.  It should burden me that this person daily lives in this kind of spirit because they are unable to experience God with it.  If I loved them, I would want the best for them, not because it is the best for me.  So my prayer has changed that God would help me to love this person, as they are, faults and all.  That is my first prayer.  Once my heart has changed there some, I feel I can pray for them unselfishly to experience God and live freely with Him.

One question that has come as a result of all that is “Am I in love with God?”.  If I loved Him, that should drive my life and make me want those around me to experience that love relationship.  I feel like most of the time I serve Him but it is for the “mission” and I forget that that mission is a result of how much He loves me and wants a personal relationship with me.  It is much easier for me to do things for Him than it is for me to sit down and spend time with Him.  In all honesty, I am horrible at that.  This weekend has been better for that but I need more of it.  I need to pray for myself that I will love Him and love spending time with Him more.  Please pray for this if you will.

2 blogs in one day.  Pretty good.  I just didn’t want to put all my thoughts in the same one.

I was reading Velvet Elvis today and he mentioned how when Paul was talking about women being saved through childbearing in 1 Timothy 2:15, he was relating this to how the pagans believed the goddess Artemis saved women in childbearing (at a time when 1 out of 2 women died in childbirth). 

I have never understood this verse.  The NIV, which is the one I have been perplexed by, says ”But women will be saved through childbearing – if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety”. 

I got excited and read several versions of the passage.  The word saved in this passage actually means the “temporary deliverance from danger or suffering”.  And the word through is the word in in several versions.  So it now makes more sense to me that Paul was saying that women are delivered from their suffering in childbirth by God and not Artemis.  And its not that women are saved spiritually through childbirth.  That was so confusing.

This kind of revelation never happens to me, probably because I don’t dig deep enough usually.  So it feels good to understand God’s word to us a bit more today.

Wow, this was a really tiring week.  Nolan is sleeping through the night great and I am getting regular 7 hrs of sleep a night but I have still been exhausted.  We’ve been really busy at work.  And on top of that I was off Tues. and worked on Sat. so that makes the week longer too.  Things I did last weekend seem atleast 2 weeks ago.

But praise God for Sundays.  I wish I could sleep a bit later but that just gives an excuse for an afternoon nap, which I have already had today.  So nice.  I really strive to make my Sundays as relaxing as possible.  First, there’s our worship time, which is so great and refreshing.  I spend lots of time with Nolan (he’s taken 2 naps in my arms today . . . so cute!)  Read some, sleep some, spend time with people some and usually try to exercise in there.  I am going running with Sandi this evening.  I really need to do some housework but that will have to wait till tomorrow.  God reminds me that He designed this day for me.  I need it.

Thanks God for resting on the 7th day.

I have been wanting to tell you guys this story. I am finally making time.

Sawyer usually is a big nusance when it comes to meeting people while walking/running him.  It is almost impossible to hear the person say hello because Sawyer is trying to do the same as loud and as spastically as he knows how.  But this past week he showed Mike and I how he can be used for the building relationships in the Fork as well.

Sandi is a girl who runs all the time.  I’m sure you have seen her running by at some point.  I had been wanting to meet her but she was always running.  Well, Sawyer and I were coming up on a bend in the trail when he started pulling.  I thought he was after a squirrel but I found out an instant later that Sandi was coming towards us around the bend.  Sawyer was barking and trying to get at her.  I started running backwards, trying to pull him in at the same time so she wouldn’t trip over him.  She almost did before we all got stopped.  It was a good thing she knew to go ahead and pet Sawyer so he would be quiet and we could actually talk.  All in all, that hilarious scene led Sandi to invite me to run with her.  Its been great getting to know her and exercising together. 

Praise God for Sawyer and the opportunities he brings!

Mike hasn’t written a blog today because he has been taking care of our son, being a wonderful father and husband. Props to him. I am so thankful for his dedication. I am also so thankful that he does have this time with Nolan, for the two of them. Good stuff.

Work is good. Work is work. After being gone for 10 1/2 weeks, I kinda missed it but it also already seems mundane. Even after just 2 days. I have never really thought of my job as that until now.  I don’t even know why that is coming up now.  I need to work harder at building relationships with new people there.  Maybe that will make it better, more thrilling.

Thanks for your prayers.  Mike and I are adjusting.  This is where God has us and therefore it is good.  Love ya’ll!

Its nice to be back to normal life in G’so.  I had to catch up on reading everyone’s blogs this morning andI have been inspired and blessed by what God is teaching you (namely Mike & Jason who wrote 7 blogs each, Jeff & Mladen). How awesome is this church!

I was inspired by my grandmother, Big Mama, last night. She goes to a traditional Methodist church & I have to say that I tend to be skeptical of its passion and leadership. But last night I jokingly commented on her rubberband “bracelet”. She said that her pastor had given a message titled “Mission Impossible” and through this had encouraged the congregation to go 21 days without complaining, whining or criticizing. Whenever they failed and caught themselves, they had to change the rubberband from one wrist to the other. Then they started over with trying to achieve their 21 days. What a mission! I immediately grabbed a rubber band and took the impossible challenge.

Driving back to gso late last night, I was really tired and just wanted to get home. Also, I battle falling asleep at the wheel, so I was nervous about getting sleepy, especially with Nolan in the car. All of a sudden the orange cones had me exiting I-40 for a detour through Tanglewoods and Clemmons, several miles out of the way and with a speed limit much less than 70. It wasn’t marked well so I had to stop at a gas station once to make sure I was going the right way. My dad called and I was frustrated and I really wanted to fuss and complain about the state highway people. But I caught myself & remembered my rubberband. Way to go Big Mama & her pastor! And of course, way to go Holy Spirit! Any mission is possible with you.

I’ve always said that my ultimate goal is to be a stay-at-home mom and wife.  I think that is because I have never been very career focused.  Its just not my thing for some reason.  I have no desire to make career seeking and succeeding part of who I am.  My parents would love for me to get a masters degree.  For some reason, that is the farthest thing on my mind.  So staying at home and investing in my family has just always seemed like the thing to do.  Especially as a pastor’s wife.  It seems like it is expected more. 

Honestly, I never have really known what a typical day would look like.  I envisioned my house always being clean and caught up, no laundry waiting to be done or dishes in the sink.  And I would spend time with my kids, investing in them.  Maybe even have a nice meal for Mike by the end of the day, even though I am not near as enthusiastic about cooking as I was when we were first married. 

I’m not so sure about all of that now.  Maybe its because Nolan is still so young and doesn’t do much right now, but I find myself going stir-crazy and hating being in this house.  Its not all the time.  Most of the time I enjoy having the time away from work, time with Nolan (even if its watching him sleep) and time to get things done.  I guess I am just getting nervous that what I have felt called to do in the past might not really be marked out for me.  And if its not, then what do I do with my life?  My job in Cardiac Rehab is great but I couldn’t do it for 30 years!  The thing is that I would need to be intentional about my day.  Plan time with God and Nolan.  Plan to get out of the house.  Plan to exercise.  Plan dinner.  I guess I am just seeing how much work that takes.  And actually that gets me excited about staying at home in the future, its just getting in that mindset of it all being more of a job/responsibility.  Right now, with maternity leave, its more like vacation.  But I want to be intentional with this time too because God has blessed me with it and I don’t want to waste it away.

I feel like this blog has been rambling.  Sorry but I was basically thinking it out as I typed.  Thanks for helping me sort through my brain.

You’ve already heard from Mike about our time with Ryan Kee last night. I too was encouraged and inspired by our time with him so here is mine.

It really seemed to me as if the Lord had put on Ryan’s heart to meet with us so to give us encouragement, affirmation and direction with The Patio. There were three things that he talked about that hit me, mostly because God has already been working and revealing these things to us in other ways. At the risk of this blog looking like a thesis paper, here they are.

First was the word expectancy. In the past couple weeks God has been reminding/teaching me/us to pray expecting Him to answer and to answer in big ways. He says that we can come to Him and ask anything, that He wants to give us good gifts (Matt. 7:7-12). He has been proving this truth with our prayers for a worship pastor and for our core group to continue to grow. Ryan mentioned the word expectancy numerous times, confirming even more that that is God’s heart for The Patio right now. LET’S PRAY BIG, knowing that we serve a good God who loves us and wants to answer our prayers so that He may reveal His awesomeness in our lives.

That leads to the second thing, our stories of how God is working in our lives. Mike spoke about this last Sunday. Like in Acts, God wants to reveal Himself in our lives through stories of His glory and power. Ryan reminded me that the best way to share Jesus with others is to tell of how He has proven Himself true in our lives. People cannot respond with debates against Him when we tell of how real He has been to us. But it seems here in America, we do not pray or expect God to give us these huge stories. It was really cool to hear Ryan talk about all the miraculous ways he has seen God work in other countries but also sad to me that we don’t give God the opportunity to do that in our lives here in America.  God wants us to pray and expect Him to give us good stories to share with others of how real He really is. I pray that He will give me these stories and the boldness to share them.

Third. A couple of weeks ago Mike came home and told me that a couple had approached him and were feeling called to join our core group. That day it just-so happened that I read and meditated on Matthew 9:37-38. “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.  Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into His harvest field”. It seemed that is what God is doing right now, He is calling up workers for the harvest here in Reedy Fork. And as Ryan prayed over us last night, He spoke of seeing us in a field working, harvesting. Just a little reminder, I think.

Well, I am just so encouraged that God loves us so much and blesses us by allowing us to be a part of what He is doing here in Reedy Fork. It is amazingly awesome that we get to serve the great and living God! I want all that He has for me and us! That is my constant prayer.

Thanks Ryan for being so available to God to work in Europe and with The Patio.

You know, God is really good to us.  I don’t know why I don’t acknowledge what He is doing in my life more.  I can talk about so many things day to day but how many times do I tell someone the story of what God did/does/is doing in my life?  It can be a simple story or an elaborate one but Mike is right. This is our Acts.  Right here and now.  And if I say that I love God then why do I talk so much about what Mike or Sawyer or whoever did the other day but I don’t mention what God did?  I think part of it comes from lack of passion or excitement about Him.  That is my prayer, that I will come back to the place where I am estatic that I know Jesus.  That He loves me and saved me and is active in my life, using me to fulfill His purpose.  Please pray with me and for me. I want to be coming alive.  Thanks ya’ll, love ya.